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IDGAF

snorlaxatives:

*sits down next to you and sympathetically looks into your eyes* i don’t care

anneboleyns:

"but officer they were fucking with my clique"

lordoftheswag:

"food’s ready come downst-"

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karkaboo:

sorry friends i can’t go out this weekend because i’ll be at the gym all day

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lameborghini:

life hack: be nice to people with a pool at their house

frejskamavor:

on a scale of fake pockets to nachos how good is your idea

plantdust:

i need clear skin by yesterday

to every bug i have ever killed i am sorry :/

durbikins:

…sorry that your bitch asses came into my house uninvited

inories:

Going to Mcdonald’s for a salad is like going to a prostitute for a hug.

shouldnt:

newzealandprince:

if ur laptop doesnt smell like fire then ur losing 

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oomshi:

if you wouldn’t suck a dick for one million dollars you are lYINGg